Google “kids left in hot car” and you’ll see recent cases from all over the nation. Every day or so, some adult has been arrested for leaving children in a car, on a sweltering summer day. Some of these incidents have ended in tragedy. Fortunately, in others, someone got to the children in time, and police were waiting to arrest the person who left them in unbearable heat.
I never thanked my parents for NOT leaving me in a hot car. Evidently, they were responsible people who valued my life. I did thank them for various things over the years, but I guess that whole “hot car” thing was something I took for granted. So I will do that publicly, although posthumously now. Thank you Hoyt and Ruth Carroll, for letting me live.
I’d say it’s a safe bet that this topic was never covered in their school days. I’m fortunate, as are you, that most adults have that innate nurturing gene that makes them remove a child from a potentially dangerous environment.
As for myself, I attended school in the days when Driver Education was considered an important class, but instructions about removing a child from a hot car never came up. I guess our teacher assumed we could figure that out on our own.
It has now become apparent that the skill of removing a child from a blazing-hot auto has not been mastered by all. There are people among us who leave our most vulnerable passengers, our small children inside these oven-like tombs.
So how do we combat the problem? We use signs like this, at the entrance of a store near you:
Yes, we need signs, instructing us to make sure we haven’t left children in the car before we run into the store for our Slim Jims and lottery tickets. The signs basically say, “Hey Mom, Hey Dad, did you forget anything? You know, your phone, your wallet, or maybe a living, breathing thing like a child or an animal? We’re just making sure!”
Did you have to be educated by highway signs, or store posters about not leaving anyone to die from heat stroke? When you went to get your hair cut, did the stylist ever say, “Now before we get started, just to be on the safe side, did you leave your babies in the car?”
When these cases go to court, will the perpetrators get a free pass if they tell the judge, “Your honor, I swear on the Bible, I never saw that sign on the Walmart door. If I had, I would have known not to leave my children in the car. They need to make that sign bigger, so I will see it next time!”
Or, “Your honor, how am I supposed to read and understand those billboards, and those signs over the freeway? I’m watching the road, I can’t be reading signs! And since I didn’t see the sign, how am I supposed to know not to leave my kids in the car?
Best I remember, when our children were born, my wife and I left the hospital after a few days with no instruction manual. I guess now, someone needs to be at the exit door with a checklist: “Before you leave, new parents, please feed, clean and clothe this child regularly, okay? And one more thing: never leave him locked up in a hot car.”
It has come to this: a medical website called “WebMD” offers “Tips on Keeping Your Kids Safe From Heat Strokes in Cars.” Here are the secrets that some people don’t know: Never leave kids alone in a hot car. Always check the front and back seats of the car before you lock it and leave. Put your purse, or something else you need by the child’s car seat, so you don’t forget to check.” Read that last sentence again. Yes, If you put something you NEED by the car seat, maybe you won’t forget your child. Other experts advise you to put your phone near your child. Because you wouldn’t go anywhere without your phone, right? So it might conveniently remind you to grab your child too.
Finally, several concerned citizens have invented devices that would signal an alarm when a child is left in a hot car. These people recognize that common sense is now in short supply. We can no longer be trusted to have the basic parenting skills necessary to prevent our children from being left alone to suffer and die in the heat. We need sirens, motion detectors and flashing lights to remind us that we are parents.
God help our children.
Very well said David Carroll…
thank you, David Carroll
dear David,
When it comes to children dying due to being unconsciously forgotten in the back seat of a hot car, do you know what the root problem is that ensures these deaths will continue? It’s the inability of a parent to admit or imagine that they could do something like that, even though it’s a certainty every summer 12 – 20 parents will. And so they laugh at and shrug off the suggestion of practicing any of the “memory jogger” tricks people have come up with or buying a device. Ironic isn’t it? No one believes they could do this, so the deaths just keep on happening. .
And do you know what reinforces that? Snarky pieces like yours with the not so subtle message that any parent who would forget their child in the backseat of a car or puts a reminder in the backseat or uses a device as a backup has to be a total moron/incompetent/irresponsible/ evil/”pick your adjective” parent. They all read your message and say, “Well I’m certainly not one of THOSE parents so I’m safe. I don’t have to do anything”. And so they don’t. And so the deaths continue.
So I gotta ask you, why would you put out something that only discourages parents with children from practicing some of these memory joggers or buying a device? Obviously you don’t want to see more kids die. Maybe you are the irresponsible evil one?
Curse, cry, or condemn, these deaths were caused by parents who until the day of the crime were perfectly normal, run of the mill parents. I read thru the articles of every case of a forgotten child hot car death that has occurred since 2008 and of the 98 or so deaths, I only found 1 that involved drugs (the one you cited in KS) and possibly 2 that implied some sort of prior history with Family Services, etc. The rest? All different socio-economic backgrounds, all areas of the country, all ages. Fathers, mothers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, babysitters. Professions included lawyers, a CEO of a hospital, teachers, school principal, a university professor, an Intel engineer, even a NASA rocket scientist.
Point is that the cause of these deaths is not shitty parenting skills, low IQ’s, evilness, or some kind of out of whack character flaw. They are caused by exactly what the perpetrators say happened – they forgot. Pure and simple. They forgot. Their brains failed them. The child fell asleep in the back not making a sound. And as the child slept, the parent’s mind began to wander and somewhere along the way they forgot the stop at the daycare and went straight into work. What they were thinking about, who knows? Maybe they were fighting horrible traffic and concentrating on not getting killed, maybe they were up all night comforting a teething baby (ever hear of “baby brain”. No? Then ask a mother with a 4 month old), maybe they were worried about a sick sibling. Not thinking about things while you drive is nearly impossible to do even if you have a child in the back. We all do it. And we all use our cell phone while driving. And yes, that sometimes causes some of us to cause accidents that injure and kill other people because we run a stop sign or don’t put our brakes on in time. But in those cases do we say “oh, those people died because that evil driver has a low IQ/ lacked driving skill/ had a character flaw”. No, usually we just say “idiots. Not paying attention”.
If you want to do some good, you should write an opinion that tells the truth – that no parent is immune from doing this and as ludicrous and insulting as it might sound to them, they should be overly cautious and put something in the back or buy a device. Until parents (and all of us) get that into their thick heads, more of their kids are going to go through what has to be one of the most horrendously terrifying ways to die. And advocate that any caregiver who does forget their child be sentenced to years of community service talking at birthing classes to convince other parents they aren’t immune.
I dare you.
Joseph, thanks for your comments, and I wish you well with your baby alarm business. There are certainly many aspects to these stories, not all of which I have covered to this point. If however, I have raised any awareness, or made any parent/caregiver think twice about protecting their child, it’s been worthwhile.
Certain aspects that you have not covered to this point? You posted a very irresponsible story. Maybe you should stick to more simple stories that do not put children in harms way. Joseph is right on, until every parent knows that they too can forget, the statistics will not change. Do a quick search of a few 911 calls that describe the condition of a baby after it was cooked alive in a hot car, then read your article again. Hopefully you will agree that you could have done a lot better job if you put a little thought and research into what you write. Wait a second.. Was this a click bait story only posted to start controversy? Awesome
Rob Nottage
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Rob, thanks for your comments, and I wish you well with your baby alarm business, too. As I wrote, evidently some folks need these devices to remind them they are parents.