A few weeks ago, the NBC “Today Show” guys signed on for “NoShave November,” agreeing to let their beards grow in an effort to raise awareness of men’s health issues. The network encouraged local NBC news guys to do the same, and I jumped at the chance.
The Beard, 1989
The Beard, 2014
I had a beard from 1979 to 1992. I grew it in my radio days, and kept it well into my TV career. When I met the woman who would become my wife, I had the beard. When my children were born, I had the beard. For the first nine years I was on TV, my face was furry.
My wife Cindy liked the beard. My sons, although little at the time, were certainly accustomed to it in their early years. Two different TV stations must have been okay with it, because they offered jobs to me, both of which I accepted.
So, all was well with my bearded face, with one notable exception: my mother.
For 13 years, my bearded self would make the weekly drive to Bryant, Alabama, to visit my parents. My sweet mother would feed me well, give me a hug, and study my face. “When are you going to shave that old beard?” she would ask. “I want to see your baby face again!” I’d shrug it off, then say, “Oh, one of these days,” then promptly return to stroking my beard. It’s what guys with beards do. Especially when we’re reading a book, watching TV, or just contemplating life. It makes us look smarter.
Then one day in 1992, my wife and sons were on a trip to visit her parents, and I woke up one morning with a plan: I would suddenly, quietly shave the beard, with no warning to anyone. I would surprise my family when they returned from their trip, I would surprise the people who had watched me on TV, and most important, I would finally make my mother happy. She would get her “baby-faced” son back. I could hardly wait for her elated reaction.
When my wife and sons returned, there was a great sense of puzzlement. Cindy saw me clean-shaven for the first time, and realized she was in too deep to turn back now. Chris, then 6, was amused by his new-look dad. Vince, at the age of 3, eyed me up and down, very suspiciously. “Are you my father?” his eyes seemed to say.
My co-workers and TV viewers had a similarly mixed reaction. Some said, “Now you look younger.” Others said, “Gee, you look fatter now.” And there was my personal favorite, “Oh, now I see why you grew the beard.” (Thanks for the ego boost!) As for my mother, she studied my clean-shaven face for the first time in 13 years and said, “You ought to grow that beard back!” (Sigh)
I didn’t make much of a fuss about my recent beard facial hair growth, because frankly, there were more important things going on in the world. There were a few social media posts, and the reaction was about half-and-half, which is kind of scary. Half the folks who commented liked the beard, half definitely didn’t (“it looks ratty”), and I figured those who didn’t say anything at all either didn’t care, or were following the old adage, “If you can’t say something nice…”
In person, the responses were also mixed, and that’s understandable. I mean, what do you say? If you tell a guy with a new beard, “You know, that beard makes you look better (younger, thinner, etc.),” isn’t that the same as saying, “Gee, you really should cover your face with hair more often!” At the same time, it’s awfully awkward to look someone in the eye and say, “Um, about that beard. I like you better without it.”
It seems beards are among the few appearance-changers that provoke such conversations. Do you ever walk up to a lady friend and say, “Wow, that new hairstyle really shows off your double chin!” Or have you ever broken the ice at a party by saying, “Nice to meet you, sir. You do realize that comb-over isn’t fooling anyone, right?”
Now that NoShave November is ending, it’s time to say goodbye to the beard. No more puzzled looks, no more polite compliments, no more grooming tips from Facebook friends (well, to be fair, I guess it’s called FACEbook for a reason).
I must confess, I enjoyed the limited-time beard. After all, I work on TV, so I enjoy the attention. Besides, it could have been worse. At least it wasn’t NoShirt September, NoPants October, or NoDeodorant December!
Two things I recall about myself like you:
I had beard in my Engineering school and my mother’s brother used to tell my mother that I should get my beard shaved because people in my community would think that I might have some disease and no one would marry me. I did not believe this kind of things those days.
I left India when my son was 10 months old. When my wife and son joined me at 3 yrs of age in USA at JFK Airport, my son looked at me and wondering who this guy was. I was living in Philadelphia at that time and lived in Apt near UPenn campus. We gave him to eat in plate and told him to eat sitting on carpet since table and chair was not suitable for him. He told us that he was not servant. Of course he spoke in Hindi.
From your bearded uncle Dale, I think you looked good with the beard, but who am I to say? We don’t get get channel 3 in Rock Island, TN.
Interestingly, when Luke Wilson, GM at WDXB most of the time I worked there, had a mustache for years, one day he, like you decided to just shave it off with no fanfare. When he came to work, I kept looking at him and wondering what was different, he looked different but I could not discern what caused it. He looked younger and friendlier. Why I don’t know but he finally said to me you didn’t mention that I had shaved my mustache off, to which I replied, OH, that’s what’s different. So much for observation. Eh? JL