The New York Times writer Jancee Dunn has just published an article about the signs of getting older. That topic really resonated with me.
For instance, did you know that our teeth shift as we age? Yes they do, the lower ones more than the uppers.
Our voices change too. Vocal cords become thinner, resulting in us sounding weaker or raspier.
Also, we shrink as we age. By age 70, we are about an inch shorter, and by 80, we lose another inch. Our bodies keep getting smaller. Well, everything except our ears. God truly does have a sense of humor.
There are many other signs. Playing the role of Madeline Matlock on the CBS series “Matlock,” Kathy Bates says she can get away with things younger folks cannot because “When you reach a certain age, you’re invisible. People look right through you.”
The Chattanooga radio legend Luther Masingill, who was on the job and very active until his death at age 92, would laugh as he recalled people loudly asking him, “Luther, do you still drive?” He would reply at the top of his voice, “Yes, and I can still HEAR too!”
I can’t help but notice that fast food cashiers will often ring up my order, and ask for my first name so they can yell it out later. When I reply, they actually look at me and then apply the senior citizen discount. The first time that happened, my vanity clicked in, and my feelings were hurt. Now, I’m disappointed if I don’t get that 15 percent off.
As my co-workers get younger and younger, I am usually the quiet one in the room when they are raving about the latest youth-oriented streaming series, like “Adolescence” and “Euphoria.” When I ask if they saw the latest edition of “CBS Sunday Morning,” I might as well be asking for directions to the nearest telephone booth.
Many of my daily habits are met with great amusement from my younger peers. They are fascinated that I still subscribe to newspapers. You know, the printed copies. When I go to lunch and spread my newspaper out on the table, some kids think it’s a hip new tablecloth.
If anyone has any doubts that I’m ancient, they know it for sure when they see my wristwatch. It is not an Apple Watch. It is a Timex. I will keep wearing it until the guy who replaces watch batteries at that mall kiosk retires. He is even older than me, so the clock is literally ticking on my Timex.
I still carry a printed calendar, leafing through each month until I find today’s date, which tells me what to do and where to go. “Why don’t you just put that info in your phone?” someone asks every day. “Because this is how I’ve organized my life since the 70s,” I reply. A few weeks ago, I thought I had left my calendar at a restaurant. I was in panic mode. I am lost without my calendar. As I was fretting about the medical appointments and book signing dates that appeared to be forever lost, a kind stranger found it in the parking lot, where it had fallen out of my stack of newspapers. That is another sign of aging. You drop something, and never hear it hit the pavement.
Doctors are also helpful in letting you know you’re getting older. A few decades ago, my dentist would find a small cavity, and immediately start drilling and filling it. My dermatologist would find something “concerning,” and go right to work on it. Of course, I’ve outlived all of those guys. Now, some fresh-faced kid right out of medical school says, “Well, I guess we could do some surgery, but do you really want to go through all that trouble?” As in, “Since you’re no longer buying green bananas, why bother, right?”
The most obvious sign of aging is to repeat yourself more often. Thank goodness I don’t have to worry about that. I have done the research and passed the tests that confirm my sharp mental acuity. That’s how I learned the most obvious sign of aging is to repeat yourself more often.
