True confession: I am a hugger.
There are only two sides to the hugging debate. Pro-huggers would say, “Well, good for you! There’s nothing better than a good hug!”
Anti-huggers are more likely to say, “Ewww, creepy.”
I don’t know why I am a hugger. Maybe I got a lot of hugs when I was little. I am an equal opportunity hugger. Young, old, male, female. Watch out. If you’re in my zip code, you might get hugged.
I hug my wife, of course. I hug my adult sons, and thankfully, they hug me back. I hug my friends and co-workers when they have accomplished something, or when they just need a little encouragement. I hug total strangers who say nice things about my work.
However, I don’t hug as many people as I once did. The pandemic pretty much wiped out hugs, and they have yet to make a full comeback.
I have two co-workers who are among the friendliest folks I know. However, they have made it clear: they consider a hug to be an invasion of their personal space. One is male, and I will often tell him he deserves a hug. He smiles, and expresses his appreciation that I didn’t cross the boundary.
Another is female. “I’ve just never been a hugger,” she said. “If I let you hug me, what will you want to do next?” For her, hugs are off-limits, and she politely lets you know.
The hugging process can be awkward. In my efforts to be politically correct, I might approach a woman I rarely see, and offer a handshake. Sometimes that gesture is accepted graciously. But if she expects a hug, she is insulted when one is not given. She will say, “What? No hug?” That leaves me feeling like a jerk, because truth be told, I want a hug too. I just wasn’t sure the feeling was mutual. Of course, I’ve been on the other end of that quandary too: expecting a hug, and then settling for a handshake.
There are different types of hugs. Our friends and relatives get a full-bodied, affectionate hug. For a more casual acquaintance, there’s the neck-hug. For someone you don’t know that well, there’s the side-hug. Our “guy” friends get the bro-hug. The most embarrassing hug is the head-knock. Neither side is sure, so in the midst of all the clumsiness, while trying to decide how to hug, your head collides with the other person’s noggin, creating a massive headache for both.
Much like a handshake, your fellow hugger can either commit, or leave you limp. Most people know how to hug appropriately. Firm, yet gentle. Brief, yet meaningful. Still, there are potential surprises. One of my most memorable hugs happened a few years ago. On the scene of a news story, an attractive young reporter from a competing station greeted me warmly. I barely knew her, but I soon became very familiar with her. As I offered my hand, she pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug. She was about half my size, but mercy, she was strong. That’s when I learned the meaning of the expression, “She took my breath away.” When I regained consciousness, I vowed I would be ready for her next time. There would be no more sneak attacks.
My wife had a similar experience when she was a news reporter. A high-ranking elected official would grab her, and darn near crack her ribs. After a few of those crunches, she learned to head the other way when she saw him coming.
Understandably, since the pandemic we have become more germ-conscious than before. Time was, we didn’t blink an eye when asked to take a swig from a friend’s water bottle. And inside our homes, we were fearless when sharing food. “What’s the harm, we’re family!”
The pandemic was truly life changing. Some might say it made us practice better hygiene, which we should have already been doing. But if it contributed to a decline in hugs, it is still a villain to me. Some people just like a good hug, while others really need one now and then. Trust me, I’m doing my part.
