Until the Cows Come Home

Reader comments about a recent column have inspired me to write another one on the origin of common sayings.

For instance, “I’ll vote in this election come hell or high water.” That means there’s an excellent chance I will vote. That one dates back to the 1830s. It was considered a legacy of the cattle trail when cowboys drove their longhorns through high water at every river and continuous “hell” in between. Keep that in mind, voters. If cowboys could overcome those obstacles, you could surely withstand a few raindrops on election day.

Speaking of rain, legendary Braves announcer Ernie Johnson Sr. would say, “The players are coming off the field, because it’s raining to beat the band!” Where did that come from? Listening to a band outdoors was a common form of entertainment in the late 1800s when the expression was first used. Or perhaps “the band” was a reference to a large group of people. Either way, if it was raining hard enough to drown out the sound of a band or a big crowd, one should probably find cover.

Sportscasters also say, “This team is fighting tooth and nail just to stay in the game.” Unlike many old sayings, this one did not originate in the 1800s. It actually goes back three centuries earlier. One of the first published versions indicates a spiritual battle within the church, in which advocates would use all of their might to prevail, even using “tooth and nail.” Did that include biting and clawing to emerge victorious? I don’t think so. It appears to have been figuratively speaking. If a sports team is battling tooth and nail, they’re just giving their all to achieve the goal. As for actual animals, that may be a different story.

Let’s figure out why a teacher might say, “If you kids don’t settle down, I’ll keep you in detention until the cows come home.” That one has also been around for 500 years. Even us non-farmers know that cows rarely seem to be in a hurry. They usually return to their barn for milking in the evening at a slow, plodding pace after a long day on the pasture. I remember Groucho Marx using this line in “Duck Soup” (1933) when he told a woman, “I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.” What a charmer.

Sometimes an old saying will find its way into a modern-day song. The Four Tops sang about a woman who was “a sight for sore eyes.” As a kid, I was baffled by that one. The origin is rather sweet. In 1738, Jonathan Swift wrote, “The sight of you is good for sore eyes.” I don’t think Groucho ever used that line.

I’ve heard politicians use the ominous warning, “Katie, bar the door.” As in, “If we allow an enemy nation to obtain nuclear weapons, it’s Katie, bar the door.” The meaning seems quite clear, but who was Katie, and what forces were behind that door? Like most old sayings, the origin is murky, but this seems to be the most common tale. When King James I of Scotland was under attack, he retreated to a room in which the door was supposed to have a wooden bar, but it was missing. As intruders tried to open the door, the king’s lady-in-waiting, Catherine tried to protect the king as he yelled, “Catherine, keep the door!” She attempted to stop the onslaught, but the assassins overpowered her, and the king was murdered. Songs and poems were written about the incident, popularizing the term, “Katie, bar the door.” If that story is true, Katie could have used some reinforcements.

Finally, many a mom has praised her child after a good bath. “You’re as clean as a whistle!” At some point I wondered, is a whistle really that clean? I mean, they get passed around constantly, with lots of mouths on that whistle. Poet Robert Burns originated the phrase in 1786, likely referring to the clear, unobstructed sound a whistle makes when blown correctly. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it, at least until the cows come home.