When we TV news anchors look into the camera to bring you the news, we haven’t memorized anything. We’re reading it off the TelePrompTer, a nifty device that allows us to “look you in the eye,” and read at the same time. This trick does not involve smoke, but it does utilize a mirror. Here’s my view from the anchor desk:
Over the years, I have developed a habit. I do not read the script from the prompter word for word. Even if I’ve written it myself, I usually change it, live on the air. I’ve convinced myself that I can make the copy better by ad-libbing, and making it more conversational. Sometimes, I succeed. But a few days ago, I said something so stupid that I regretted it the moment it left my lips. I was hoping no one would catch it, but someone always does. The script read, “We’ll have more information when it becomes available,” but I wanted to say “We’ll bring you more information when we get it.” Instead, I blurted out this nugget of nonsense: “We’ll have more information when we get it.” Say that out loud. I just hope they spell my name right on the Emmy award.
I try to avoid cliches, because they turn up on the news (local and network) an awful lot. My co-anchor Cindy Sexton and I grimace when we hear that “officials are tight-lipped.” In fact, we tighten our lips, to no avail. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve ended a story by saying, “The investigation is continuing,” I’d have some serious cash. I mean, that should be obvious. We all know that cops and firefighters aren’t going to leave the scene and say, “You know what? I’m stumped. Let’s just forget about this one and hope it blows over.”
Sometimes we trivialize death. In the wake of a storm in Iowa, we’ll say, “Damage was extensive, but there was only one death.” You know, to that person’s family, “only one death” is kind of a big deal. The person started the day alive and well until that storm came, remember?
There are so many more. When we say, “Smith and Jones are on the campaign trail,” where is that trail, exactly? Are there markings on the trees? If we say, “canine dogs,” should we also say, “human people?” Why do we say “a final farewell?” A farewell is final, right?
(That is, unless you’re Cher on a “farewell concert tour,” because she will be on stage singing “Believe” to my great-grandchildren, I just know it.)
Some of my personal pet peeves are just that, personal. I’m reluctant to say that someone “lost his battle with cancer.” It is said with good intentions, but I’ve known many people who suffered from debilitating diseases. In most of those cases, the odds of a long-term recovery were slim. But once they passed away, I didn’t feel they “lost” at anything. I thought they were winners for displaying courage and grace in their final weeks. They’ll always be winners to me.
Have you ever heard about a structure that was “completely destroyed” by fire? Can something be sort of destroyed? Maybe destroyed just a little bit? It’s either destroyed…or it isn’t. Plus, we’ve told you grim details about people who were “fatally killed” or “electrocuted to death.” Some were in a “terrible accident,” as opposed to a wonderful accident, I guess. We describe a “senseless crime” so you’ll know it wasn’t a meaningful crime. We tell you that an injured person was taken to a “local” hospital. Aren’t you glad the paramedics didn’t take the guy to a hospital in Utah? How about “she’s lucky to be alive?” Having witnessed the miracle of birth a couple of times, I think we’re all fortunate to be alive.
Sometimes we use a lot of words when only two will do. Doesn’t “totally engulfed in flames” mean the same thing as “on fire?”
The weather people, who ad-lib everything, let one slip occasionally too. From the Department of Redundancy Department, they’ll say, “Currently right now in Chattanooga, it’s 71.” And instead of saying, “Old Man Winter is bringing on the white stuff,” can’t they just say that it’s going to snow?
I try to avoid “literally” and “actually.” I’ve heard reporters say, “Police are -literally- combing the neighborhood for clues.” That must be one big comb. And if I tell you that “Mayor Johnson -actually- just presented his budget,” isn’t that one word too many?
Our own buzzwords have become cliches. Remember when “Breaking News” meant something huge had just happened? Like a major earthquake somewhere, or perhaps an explosion. Now, the cable news channels, yapping for attention like puppies at feeding time, will trumpet their “Breaking News” banner to inform us that Justin Bieber peed in a mop bucket in a restaurant kitchen. I’m not making that up.
If there’s a crisis involving a child, you will be told it is “Every parent’s worst nightmare.” How can they be sure? I know a lot of parents, and none of them have been surveyed by NBC or CNN about their worst nightmare. Former “Dateline” host Stone Phillips was parodied on “Saturday Night Live” for his constant warnings that “What you don’t know about (let’s say, muffins)…could KILL you!”
So that’s the “very” latest. (Huh?) At the end of the day, here’s the bottom line: it remains to be seen. Because only time will tell. But this much is for sure: I will have more information when I get it.
David that is great.watching Jed and LaTrice u and Cindy I know what goes behind the scenes.
Jon, you’re the best, thanks!
Great piece, I needed a good laugh.
Thanks for reading, Eric!
Proving once again that you are one of the most talented writers one the planet.
Steve Hartman, you’ve got someone nipping at your heels.
Doug, that’s high praise! Thank you
Thank you for that “grim reminder” of the cliches we tend to drop. “As you can see behind me, it’s a terrible tragedy.” (We can’t see anything behind you, reporter, because your fat head is filling the screen…even in 16:9.)
Hilarious! Since you asked, I love “locally heavy rain” as opposed to those national rain storms. And “rain event” or “weather event”…
Good one Barry! Fortunately, we rarely have nationally heavy rain!
Well said. Is that ok to say?
You nailed it, David! I’m gonna run to the ATM Machine and grab you a $20 dollar bill and have it for you after Monday’s 6:00 o’clock newscast.
Why when it’s going to rain on any given day, do the weathemen and women feel compelled to say, “Don’t forget your umbrellas”? Really?
Unless it’s a thunderstorm. You know, where they tell you how dangerous the lightning can be? No thanks. I don’t want to help mother nature beat a path to my door! I agree with everyone else, this was a great article. I enjoyed the laughs and the insight to how you folks do things behind the desk. (Or at it, as the trend seems to be these days.)
Another great article. I was enjoying reading it and then I just busted out laughing over one line. “Ambulance Driver” If your in a crisis that is so grave the you have to call 911 do you want a “Ambulance Driver” to take care of you or would you rather have a EMT or Paramedic. As a Paramedic I’ve learned over the years to let it go. Some in EMS though get bent out of shape when called a Ambulance Driver. All that schooling and training just to be a A.D. Keep up the great work. I really enjoy reading your blogs.
Good catch Greg! It’s been fixed.
The one I hate is “we will be back momentarily”. No we will not be back momentarily, we will be back in a moment but for an extended time.
Oh, that’s a good one, Steve M-P. And how about when the anchor says as they’re going to commercial “We’re back after this”(which I think Bryant Gumble started saying years ago on the Today Show). That’s not correct. It should be “We’ll be back after this”.
The one I hate to hear, unless it refers to the troops is “On The Ground”.
“We have so and so on the ground reporting live”. Think that one got started during the Iraq war and everybody just ran with it no matter what the reason..
Thanks for letting me vent. Always love your posts. I got a big chuckle out of this one!
Is late breaking news late because another station ran it first? And about running news when it’s running do you chase it?
Thank you David……..I believe you hit most of my complaints. Questions…why do news casts now, almost always begin with ‘breaking’ news..and if it’s not breaking, it’s ‘continuint’ news. Here in Nashville, they often have to s t r e a t c h to make it qualify as either. AND..are reporters ‘required’ to show us something around them? My favorite is when the reporter says, “as you can see here behind md.” I have a 61″ and a 55″ t-v…high definition both. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked…and don’t see whatever the reporter is talking about. and am sure, people with smaller screens are seeing even less.
Are most of the things you mentioned and the couple I had given by consultants…and we’ll just have to keep turning it on till we get “the rest of the news”..
Thanks for taking the time to read……….buddy
Buddy, oddly enough, I think “as you can see behind me” is one of those consultant-recommended phrases! Thanks for reading… David
Our news department has the worst crutch, which I never know if it is scripted or not. “…Take a look at this!”
When 95% of the newscast (it’s a newscast, not a show…there’s another one!) has some sort of video to go with the story, you shouldn’t have to use such a phrase.
Scott, you are so right! Can’t believe I left that one out. Thanks for reading!
Great stuff. Here’s more:
http://newswriting.com/the-groaners/
“Area residents…” how did I leave that one out? It’s right out of The Onion! (thanks for reading, Abe)
David,
I always enjoy your”letters to the troops”. This one was particularly funny and I’m gonna pass on to some friends in California who are from here. They’ll get a kick out of some local broadcast humor. Take care and stay healthy.
Regards always,
Bill McCallie
Thanks for reading, Bill, I’m glad you got a laugh out of it.
You threw the writers and producers under the bus. Why not write your own copy and stop complaining about the shortcomings of your coworkers?
Thanks for reading Fred, it’s good to hear from you! I try to write, or re-write as much of my copy as possible. Some days it is easier to do so than others. But as I wrote in the blog, even then I change things around, and sometimes mangle it. All of us, myself included, foul up from time to time. Hopefully most readers will take this as it’s intended, primarily as an attempt at humor. From the responses I’ve received, most seem to realize the cliches are repeated nationally, not just in my market. My co-workers are still speaking to me, for now anyway. David
All news shows do this.It drives me crazy. You say “We have a story on VW coming up” You go to commercial saying you have story on VW. Come back on saying got story on VW. YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME. Don’t mention the news story until you get ready to tell it. You could give me another news story instead of talking about the future story so much. Just wondering….
I like burning buildings being “totally involved”. In what? And reporters who say “The police DID arrive.” And the replacement for “uhh” is, apparently, “actually” used many times in a story.
And last (hee hee, we would know it was last in just a moment.)
“hopefully” the patient will live. Doesn’t hopefully mean full of hope? “Full of hope”, the patient will live.
There are more, just can’t remember right now. Oh, the networks are almost as bad as the locals. Not so in the olden days.
Peace and Love, Ed
Whenever you write an article, I’ll bet “all eyes are on” your words. How could you miss this DAILY local news writing crutch? Personally, while others’ eyes “are on” the World Cup, or President Obama, or the latest terrorist scare, my eyes are still “on my face.”
Two I want to nominate:
1. “Six a.m. in the morning.” How about “6 in the morning” or “6 a.m.” Two syllables saved.
2. “Died/seriously injured in the mishap.” Death and trauma aren’t trivial, and “mishap” conveys just that. Dying isn’t an oopsie-daisy kind of thing.
i would love to see if i could read a telapromter.
david do you have to be a fast reader to do it is it hard to do it looks easy.
It takes practice, but it’s not hard at all. If it was, I couldn’t do it!
you know david i would love to do what paul does a weatherman,i bet he makes good money.lol
love to do sports to, cause i love those braves and college football and high school football,my favorite team is the vols. Go vols.lol.
David. You forgot the one they taught us in Anchorman school: “And it was at that point (that/when) things went terribly wrong”. Not just wrong but terribly wrong. And when pronouncing ‘terribly’ you have to drop your voice two octaves.
Garry, I’m practicing that one…May use that tonight!
This is hilarious. You’re a terrific writer.
This is a “great read” David.