Everyone deserves a fall break, including columnists. Imagine the pressure that comes with cranking out these gems on a weekly basis. We start with a blank screen, and we must come up with 700 magnificent words, and hopefully put them in the right order.
So this week, it’s your turn to contribute. To the inbox we go!
Dear David: Your column on Pizza Mix and Potted Meat brought back a funny memory. When I was in college, the box of pizza mix cost about a quarter. I made the pizza, cut the Vienna sausages into little round slices, baked it and had a Vienna Sausage Pizza feast. This is also when Kraft Mac and cheese was eleven cents a box. Love your columns, keep them coming! (Linda in Rome, GA)
Linda, imagine if social media existed back then. You could have posted this on TikTok and triggered a nationwide phenomenon!
Dear David: I have enjoyed your past columns and books with humorous takes on social media mistakes. Have you seen anything lately that amused you? (Pat in White House, TN)
Absolutely. Earlier this year, while gearing up for a certain pro football championship game, I noticed a restaurant on Facebook was promoting a special “Super Bowel party.” I’ll bet that was a blast. Later in the year, I answered the phone in the newsroom. The caller asked, “What time do the Ozempic games come on?” And while watching a network newscast’s hurricane coverage, the anchor said, “Let’s check in with our reporter on the ground.” I’m thinking, “Well, for God’s sake, somebody pick her up!”
Dear David: I don’t live in your TV viewing area, but my friend in Cleveland, Tennessee sends me your columns. She said you announced that you’re stepping down from your news anchor job after almost forty years. What’s up with that? (Ryan in Houma, Louisiana)
That is true, come December. It’s time. How do you know it’s time? It’s when you turn in your notice, and no one tries to talk you out of it. And besides, there may be other opportunities for me. Although I will be picky. I won’t be that guy dressed in a chicken suit at a car dealership offering zero percent interest and no down payment on a new Kia. On second thought, if I was in a chicken suit, you wouldn’t know it was me, right?
But seriously folks, I’ve had a job ever since I was 6 years old, when my parents put me to work in the country store. From there I went into broadcasting, which I’ve done nonstop, even seven days a week for a while.
Speaking into a microphone does not require the same level of physical labor as patching a roof or paving a road, so I’ve never complained about my workload. From 2016 to 2023, in addition to my daily news duties, I also wrote three books, did a weekend radio show, and wrote this weekly column. I was never busier, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
But you never want to stay too long at the party, and lately, covering the news is like trying to shoe a running horse. So I’m looking forward to winter. For the first time in my adult life, I can enjoy a good snowfall without having to drive in it.
Dear David: Why are you on my local editorial page? I turn to this page for commentary on political issues. I expect to see constructive opinions on topics that affect my life. You should use your influence to keep politicians honest, and inform readers about the dangerous direction in which our nation is headed. (Mitchell in Scottsboro, AL)
Just a few weeks later, I got this one.
Dear David: I enjoyed your column about the gentleman who sings “God Bless America” at Atlanta Braves games, and the ones you wrote about products from my childhood. It is refreshing to read about something other than politics. Keep up the great work. (Fred in Scottsboro, AL)
Fred, you need to look up Mitchell, who also lives in Scottsboro. Tell him to be patient. Everything is going to be okay.
