There is certainly no shortage of Southern-isms, based on the cards and letters you’ve sent. Here’s the latest batch. Maybe they’ll tickle your innards. Let’s commence.
We’ve already covered two famous folk heroes, Cooter Brown and Sam Hill, but somehow I forgot Chester Drawers. You know: “Where are my over-hauls?” The answer: “Look in them there Chester Drawers.” “Oh, they were rat-cheer the whole time. I knew they had to be ’round here summers (somewhere).”
That story reminds me of an ol’ boy. His bread ain’t done. He’s dumb as a box of rocks. Give him two nickels for a dime, and he’ll think he’s rich. He loves his ol’ Shiv-uh-lay (Chevrolet). He orta get shed of that rattle-trap. One day, the po-leece pulled him over, si-reens blaring, and said, “Son, do you have any ID?” He said, “About what?”
I’m a little slow myself. Once I started following the Atlanta Braves, it took me a while to figure out why the guy squatting behind home plate is called a “catcher.” Where I’m from, he’s a “hind-catcher.”
How many times did you hear this exchange when you visited the general store? “Howdy, can I hep ya?” “Yeah, where do yuns keep yer bakin’ sodie?” “It’s right past them cans of Vi-eener sausages.”
In my family’s store, we could always tell if a visitor was from above the Mason-Dixon Line. They would pronounce “salmon” without the “L,” like “sammon.” My wife assures me that is correct, no matter how many times I show her that “L,” staring me in the face.
Ever since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, I was surrounded by candy in that store. It’s a wonder I have any teeth at all. Or lungs for that matter. This was before the “no smoking” era, and we sold a lot of Luckies. Our regulars would stand around, smoke, and swap stories. “John, why ain’t you workin?” “Oh, I can’t work no more, ’cause of back trouble.” “Do tell? That’s turrible.” “Yeah, the boss man said, if I ever came back, there’d be trouble.” (Later, his wife would describe him as “triflin’.”)
Here’s another conversation I remember: “Speak of the devil! You still workin’ at the fillin’ station?” “No, I jest got farred.” “Whut? You jest got harred last week!” “Yeah, but they farred me after I started a tar far.” (Think about that one.)
There was one guy who was full of clever sayings. No matter what we were talking about, he would chime in, “Well, like the feller says, don’t count yer chickens afore they hatch!” I always wondered who that “feller” was. Maybe it was Chester Drawers.
These days, kids act up on the school bus. That didn’t happen when I was growing up. Mr. Dewey Cooper was my bus driver, and when some kid got out of line, he’d stare into the rear-view mirror, and say, “Boy, if you don’t sit down, I’ll bend you over my checkered apron.” We never actually saw his checkered apron, but we lived in fear that one day we would. At least he didn’t say the scariest phrase of all, which was often uttered by our parents: “Go cut me a switch,” which was usually followed by, “Not that one. Go get a bigger one!”
Back then, if you learned something, you “knowed” it. If you got in trouble, your Daddy would look you in the eye and say, “Son, they ain’t no call for that.”
If you took off your stinky shirt after playin’ down by the crick, your Mama would hand it back to you and say, “Son, smell of this! Have you been rollin’ around with a dad-gum pole cat?”
The women’s movement hadn’t yet caught on, so it was not unusual to hear a man refer to his wife as “my old lady,” even if she was 22! And if her husband preceded her in death, she would forever be referred to as a “widder woman.” At least until another man “claimed” her.
We’ll get together again soon, good Lord willing, and the Creek don’t rise.
I love all these! Keep ’em coming!
Did you mention seeing smoke coming out of the Chimley?
Nope, but I will! Every time I think I’ve covered them all, somebody reminds me of another one. I guess Volume 4 is on the way!
I worked with a teacher from Pennsylvania. She came in one day baffled and asked, “What does ‘tore up’ mean?” I told her I needed to hear it in context to determine the meaning. She couldn’t believe it had more than one. A couple of fourth graders were saying their computer was ‘tore up’. “Oh, that’s broken,” I replied. When she asked what else ‘tore up’ could mean, I replied that if they were ‘tore up’ that the Braves lost, that meant they were very upset. If their mama said they would get ‘tore up’ when they got home, they would get a whippin’ that would prevent them from sitting down for a spell. She looked a little bemused and shook her head. I soon after went to Cracker Barrel and bought her a Southern Dictionary. We Southerners are a complicated lot.
Love this blog… Did you get this one………….. I ran through really quick this morning and didn’t see it.
Comemere…. come over here
it is two miles down the road as far as a crow flies
look at all dem freekles, he must’uf been looking thru the screen door in the sun.
slap me in the face with a biscuit
he is so ugly, he must-uf fell out of the ugly tree and hit every limb on the way down
mean as a snake
got a whole lot but gotta go to church…. keep up the good work, love it.
David, I was raised on Southern axioms by my Daddy: “Who licked the red off your candy?” “Don’t take no wooden nickels.” ” I’d like to biy her for what she’s worth and sell her for what she thinks she’s worth!” “Either s$$# or get off the pot (we weren’t allowed to lollygag)” and many more. I compiled a collection of them for our family.
Concerning “Chester Drawers”, back in the early 70’s (before required car seats), we were taking our newborn son to Louisville, KY to meet his great vrandparents. Being young and poor, we made a makeshift travel bed out of…you guessed it…..a drawer from a chest in our bedroom. Forever more, they dubbed our son, “Chester Drawers!”
Thank you for such a fun article!
About a year ago I saw an actual ad in the News Free Press for a “nice chester drawers” for sale- with that spelling!!
My husband had never heard of a kitchen zinc or blar. I asked have you never had a blar in your finger?
That there cake was gooder then snuff, an not might near as dusty.
Another one of my favorites is , that lady is so ugly she would snag lighting??
Loved it
I had no idea that chesterdrawers was not one word until I was grown and married. I really can not make myself now say chest -of -drawers. My mama was born in Bell Buckle, TN was well educated …becoming a nurse and a teacher. However, a few , well many, words never change for us. . Good!
Did you mention the all famous blo’nee sammich
Heavens to Betsy, David. Can’t you beat that?
well I hope your “fix in to” share more southern isms
I was married for several years before I knew what my grandmother really meant when she said that we were having “orsh” potatoes for dinner. I read in a cook book to use “Irish potatoes” for something and that clued me in.
Also she said “worsh” for wash as in wash the clothes.
Comin’ from north Georgia, I almost never broke myself from saying Mizriz for Mrs. and The Post for The Chickamauga Battlefield. Don’t forget A-Swanny for I sware.
Wretch for reached
Over yonder for over there
I’m going to set you on fire! Means I’m going to spank you because you’re really misbehaving
Mary is that way/ pregnant
I’ll have to sift through that idee.
Not only “Southernisms” – heard almost every one of these phrases growing up in the Old West part of Kansas – first learned y’all and chester drawers before going to Kindergarten. Must be why I fit in round here.